Rain, rain, rain...

Usually Spring is a time of renewal and coming out of the duldrums that can exist during the cold Winter. However, here in New Braunfels we have had more rain these last two months than I can remember. And it is beginning to take its toll on me! Taking my Vitamin D3 supplement is one thing, but my whole demeanor has been slow and well....sad. The weather is bringing me down. I do not have the same energy in the morning or the drive to get out into the world and 'take on the day' as Dr. Laura says.

So what do I do when my environment is running its course to keep motivated? Well, yesterday, I let the apathy envelop me. I slept almost all day. Being that I am in my 30 Day Water Challenge, I only met 1/2 of my goal intake of 4 quarts a day. Albeit, 2 quarts was enough, but even that goal I seemed to fall short of yesterday. So last night when praying before bed, I asked the Lord to empower me and give me the strength to do what I needed to do today.

Did it work? So far, but it's not even lunch yet. Each day is a new day. Is it raining and dreary again today? Yes. Did it start sprinkling on me when I took the dogs for a walk? Yes. Did I wake up with a blemish on my nose? Yes. Some days, even some weeks, are simply challenging. Sometime the will to put on a smile and trudge through life is simply harder than others. Those of you who are introverts may deem this cycle more prevelantly. As an outgoing introvert, I can do the social thing quite well, but then retreat into a world of solice and quiet. So for me to get down is rather a unique experience because when this happens, I go out into the world and get my extrovert fix so-to-speak. Unfortunately, the weather, my mindset, my lack of consistent exercise & possible poor eating has thrown me for a loop.

So I have taken the time today to look at my blessings. I'm blessed to have my love to tell me he loves me and continually show his patience with my testiness and flow of tears. And in my Bible study this morning I came across Hebrews 1: 14 and it's reference to ministering spirits. "Are they not all mineristing spirits sent out in God's service, for the sake of those destined to receive salvation?"

What does it mean to thank God for mineristing spirits? And how in the world does this relate to rain and feeling apathetic?

It is by grace that I have the blessings that I do and while I may get down about things that many may deem as trivial, it is important to learn and be reminded that I am fully and completely in the care of my heavenly Father. For I've never understood those fellow believers that say that the voice of God is silent or that they have been abandoned to God's presence. For me, God has always been there. There has never been this concept of having prayers bounce off the ceiling. It is simply unfathomable to me. Never once, in the history of my existance, have I ever doubted the love and all-emcompassing hope of who God is and God's committment. This is of no doing of my own, but a gift.

So while I may be having a down few days, I have never felt abandoned. Precisely the opposite in fact. It is me who has abandoned my God. My own self absorbtion has dampened my vision. All these things coupled together to allow the powers that be to interfere with my daily walk. Today I am reaching out to the ministering spirits of God and the Holy Spirit, asking them to aide me in my ministry and what I am supposed to be doing. One day at a time. For God has assigned each of us these spirits for the sake of those destined to receive salvation. (paraphrase Heb 1:14)

Looking out on my rain drenched garden and blossoming tomatoes, peering at my napping dog underneath the window, feeling my mosquito bites and being thankful I have legs to walk each day and run when I feel inspired, drinking a fresh cup of coffee while paying my electricity bill and truly appreciating that I can write this check and have it clear, as there are so many in the world who struggle daily. For there are a plethora of things in which to be grateful, and sometimes I can get bogged down in the rhythms of life and focus on myself and my inadequacies. The key is not to avoid these moments all together, but to realize where I am, accept the cycles and their complexities, and then move on back to the simplicity of life. These cycles too are a gift. For me, I have found that asking the ministering spirits God has given us, the Holy Spirit and God's everfaithful Word, to bring me back to peace helps. After the rain, there is renewal.